Stefan's Blog: Always give what you need and it will return

The key to life is to always give what you need because in this universe you attract what you give. This is another one of those rules that you should try and follow. Have you noticed that whenever someone is always very tight with their money they always end up having to pay for other things and never seem to win any money.

Simply, if you need attention, give attention. If you need love give out love. And it will all return. 

Stefan's Blog: The 11 Power Commandments

There is nothing more alluring than power. We have an innate desire to be stronger, faster, and smarter, to distinguish ourselves by ability and stand out from the crowd. This inbuilt ambition has been the driving force behind the human dominance as a species and, as a result, we worship the powerful. Award shows, elections and sporting events are just a few of the contests we fight to separate winners from losers, strong from weak. And when the dust has settled, we parade our champions through the streets, plaster their faces on billboards and magazine covers, and treat them like heroes.

But, if that power is abused, if the politician’s credibility is destroyed, the athlete caught cheating, or the businessman corrupt, we are outraged. The misuse of power offends us like no other crime, because the same force that creates a leader can also create a tyrant. And though few people will ever govern a nation or command an army, every man will one day have power: to start a business is to have power over employees; to captain a team is to have power over teammates; even to be a father is pretty much to have power over a child.

No.11 Have Role Models

Seek out people who inspire you and follow in their example. Sir Isaac Newton, widely considered the most important and influential scientist to ever live, and the person responsible for the theory of gravity as well as the “laws of motion,” famously downplayed his own accomplishments, stating, “If I have seen further than others, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”  The importance of role models is all too obvious to scientists, who carry on the work of their predecessors, but it is equally applicable to businessmen, athletes and politicians. 

No.10 Stand for Something Greater Than Yourself

To be truly powerful, you have to represent something greater than yourself: an idea or vision whose legacy will live on long after you are gone. Martin Luther King once said, “A man who won’t die for something is not fit to live.” Tragically, on April 4th, 1968, a bullet from an assassin’s rifle cut his life short, but not before his principled stand against racial inequity galvanised a nation into confronting its long-ignored issues of racism and discrimination. Just days after his death, the U.S. Congress passed the Civil Rights Act of 1968, and King’s legacy and character, especially his commitment to peaceful demonstration and reasoned debate, continue to inspire human rights activists the world over.

No.9 Do Not Seek Approval

Powerful people practice self-reliance, trusting in their own abilities and intuitions rather than looking to others for confirmation and assurance. No one better embodies this ideal than Winston Churchill, who once said, “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.” In the years leading up to World War II, Churchill was vilified as a warmonger for his outspoken criticisms of Hitler and the appeasement policies of Prime Minister Neville Chamberlain. Churchill recognised the danger posed by a mechanised Germany led by a fanatic, but his warnings went unheeded. As he famously put it to the House of Commons: “You were given the choice between war and dishonour. You chose dishonour, and you will have war.”

No.8 Don't Make Excuses

The powerful do not make excuses: they take responsibility. Benjamin Franklin embodied his maxim: “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” An inventor, author, scientist and politician, Franklin, often referred to as “the first American” for his early and tireless devotion to the union of the early American colonies, is one of history’s most accomplished men. His emphasis on personal accountability is legendary, and is a large focus of his famous autobiography, in which he specifies a list of thirteen “virtues,” or principles, upon which to build a successful life.

 

 

 

No.7 Do Not Fear Failure

Nobody achieves power without first understanding the importance of failure. Behind every successful person hides a succession of spectacular, often very public, failures. Henry Ford once said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.” He would know: his success in founding the Ford Motor Company was not an accident but the result of knowledge gained from failing again and again. Ford’s first attempt at creating an industry was the Detroit Automobile Company, founded in late 1899 and dissolved barely two years later due to quality issues and high costs. In founding the Ford Motor Company, he improved on his problems by switching from ethanol to gasoline and implementing assembly lines to cut expenses while maintaining quality. The result? Ford’s techniques were copied the world over and his company became, and remains, one of the largest family-owned companies in the world.

No.6 Be Humble

There are few things more annoying or off-putting than a braggart. The Chinese philosopher Confucius, living around 500 B.C., taught, “The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions.” Humility is an important virtue to cultivate: having an ego distracts you from what is important, taking your focus off of your goals and onto your image. As Confucius points out, talk is cheap; it is our actions and accomplishments that speak for us and determine our value.

No.5 Power Is Innovative

The powerful are those that choose to lead rather than follow, preferring always to explore new ground rather than retrace another’s footsteps. Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Inc., once wrote, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” After being removed from the board of the company he created, Jobs returned when the company was nearing bankruptcy, and promptly declared that Apple had lost the battle of personal computing and had to focus on new things. What followed - in rapid succession - were the iPod, iPhone and iPad, which took Apple from the brink of irrelevance to being among the most powerful and valuable companies in the world.

No.4 Power Is Not Confrontational

In the second century B.C., a Chinese military commander known as Sun Tzu wrote what would become the definitive treatise on military combat, studied to this day by generals and strategists the world over. In The Art of War, he writes, “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting.” The powerful do not need to fight or argue to get what they want; they understand the costs of conflict and find ways to achieve their goals without confrontation. Negotiation, diplomacy and persuasion are always preferable to petty squabbles or outright violence.

No.3 It Is Better To Be Loved Than Feared

It is the nature of power that anyone with strength or access to a firearm can exert it, but power based on fear is fleeting and dangerous. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Power is of two kinds. One is obtained by fear of punishment and the other by acts of love. Power based on love is a thousand times more effective and permanent than the one derived from fear of punishment.” Through hunger strikes and acts of non-violent civil disobedience, Gandhi won international support and admiration, liberating India from British colonial rule and advancing his campaigns for the amelioration of poverty and peace between Hindu and Muslim groups within India.

No.2 Be Memorable

The truly powerful exert a lasting influence, even long after their deaths. Bruce Lee once said, “The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering.” A martial artist and global film star, Lee became a pop culture icon, inspiring millions with his dedication and discipline, as well as his personal philosophy, a mix of Buddhism and Taoism. Though he died at the tragically young age of 33, from cerebral edema, his legacy survives: Jeet Kune Do, a hybrid fighting style of his own invention, is still taught to this day, and Time Magazine named him one of the most influential figures of the 20th century.

 

 

No.1 Power Is A Means, Not An End

The Greek philosopher Plato long ago wrote, “The measure of a man is what he does with power.” If your end goal is only to have power, your life will be spent in a desperate effort to maintain that power. If, on the other hand, you have a higher purpose, a goal that you wish to accomplish or a change you want to effect, then power becomes a tool, a way to influence and shape the world to your vision. What you do with that power will define you.

Stefan's Blog: 20 Rules To Live by in 2013

1. Don’t hate based on differences

There is plenty of stuff worthy of hate in this world. There is no shortage of wicked, wretched evil that catches my ire. There are battles worthy of fighting. Each battle I enter into requires me to think, using a moral compass to judge how I feel and the position I should take. Hating someone for being different from you, or hating a concept or thing because it’s not what you’re used to, or because you don’t understand it, is stupid, distracting, harmful, a waste of energy, and, well, evil. I’ll hate you for it.

2. Know the difference between “sperm donor” and “Dad”

Dad is a title that must be earned. Every day.

3. Treat women right

If you’re gay, which is cool, I probably don’t have to mention this one for multiple reasons. For the straight guys, a life of being a gentleman feels better than multiple notches on a bedpost. If you have a deal with her about not sleeping with other people, then you don’t sleep with other people. You honor it, and expect her to as well.

Beyond that, know that women are our equals. They’re different, and do I ever love them for it, but equal. Embrace just how wonderful they are, not just for their bodies (which are awesome), but for what’s going on upstairs.

4. Do the right thing

There are ways to get ahead in life via dishonesty. Do it once and get away with it, and you’ll be tempted to do it again and again. Eventually, it will bite a huge chunk out of your ass. Call it karma, but it’s playing the odds. They do catch up to you.

5. Quit yer bitchin’

Know the difference between doormat and whiner. Sometimes, you’ve just got to suck it up.

6. Own up

If you make a mistake, admit it. If you do wrong, try to fix it. If you have responsibilities, live up to them. This isn’t elementary school. Be an adult and don’t blame your own shortcomings on someone or something else.

7. God hates a coward

Religion has nothing to do with it; this is just what my dad always says. There are risks in life worth taking, risks that accelerate you to a new level. Remember Morgan Freeman’s character in The Shawshank Redemption: “Terrible thing, to live in fear.” Fear can hold you back from being the man you’re meant to be.

8. Shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk

This is a metaphor. It might not snow where you live.

Do things that benefit others with no expectation of acknowledgement or reward. You will be rewarded, however. That warm feeling inside is it. Don’t discount its value as a contributing member of the human race.

9. Wear your seatbelt

Another metaphor. There are risks worth taking and stupid things people do to act cool.

Note that acting cool and being cool are different.

Wear a helmet, look before you leap, get some exercise, don’t smoke, cheeseburgers and chicken wings are a treat, not a staple, wrap your root… You get the idea.

10. Keep debt in check

There are things worth going into debt for, like a place to live (that you can afford), an education (that leads to a viable career), a new business venture that you’ve done a thorough risk analysis of, or a life-saving medical procedure. Gadgets, clothes, vacations, and cars shouldn’t qualify. If you can’t afford those things, don’t buy them.

11. Invest wisely

Don’t expect the government to look after you. If you want to eat something other than cat food and have walls that aren’t made of cardboard surrounding you in your golden years, you’d better get saving.

But this goes beyond retirement planning. You can also decide which relationships and careers are worth investing in, as well as to take the time, money and effort to invest in your own health and fitness to garner a positive ROI.

12. Lift something heavy

Cuz it’s awesome.

13. See your favorite band up close

At least once. Find a way to make it happen. You won’t regret it.

14. Speak their language

When you travel, buy a phrase book and try to see the world through another set of eyes. In other words, don’t be such an ethnocentric jackass.

15. Don’t be a junky

Whether it’s work, booze, drugs, Halo, Facebook, sex, porn, TV, food or gambling, know the line between pastime and addiction.

16. Plan ahead

Things are less likely to bite you in the ass that way. There you go. Planning ahead is ass protection.

17. When driving where kids might be playing, slow the f*ck down

Seriously, I will beat you. It takes only a second to ruin many lives, including your own.

18. Go outside

It’s nicer out there. The air is better, the light is brighter, and the world is more fun.

19. Be flexible

Things don’t always go the way you planned, so adapt and overcome. Be willing to adapt your thought processes and challenge your own assumptions as well. Chances are you haven’t got life completely figured out yet. Be willing to learn from others.

20. Have a least one good friend

Find someone you would travel across land in the middle of the night at a moment’s notice to bail out of jail. Someone whose back you will watch, not stab. Someone who inspires your loyalty. Someone who will do all these things for you in return.

Stefan's Blog: THE AWESOMEST THINGS

When I get sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead.  True story.  But how do I do it?  Simple.  I sing the following song to remind myself of how many awesome things there really are out there.

Girls in wet t-shirts and chimps in tuxedos,

Monster truck pile-ups and Hans who shoot Greedos.

Wild chicks that beg to be tied up with strings,

These are a few of the awesomest things!

U.S. Armed Forces and dudes kicked in gonads

Box suites for football and chicks’ absent dads.

Single malt scotches that someone else brings,

These are a few of the awesomest things!

Skateboarder wipe-outs and first person shooters,

Reruns of “Air Wolf” and hiring for Hooters.

Hot girls that gyrate and wear down bedsprings,

These are a few of the awesomest things!

When the check comes!

When the girl clings!

When she’s fully clad…

I simply remember the awesomest things,

And then I don't feel so bad!

The Dream Girl

January 13, 2013
Stefan's Blog

Although we may wish for one girl the perfect girl, we always have to go through a few before we find her.